Ask the Book Doctor
How to Anger an Agent
October 15, 2026
Way back in the dark ages before we could submit manuscripts by email, I acted as a first reader for a literary agent. Inundated with submissions, she was years behind on reading and replying to them. I helped her catch up by reading the submissions and giving her only the ones that looked favorable. What were her guidelines?
- The business-like cover letter included all her required information.
- The genre fit the agent’s area of interest.
- The submission followed standard manuscript format.
- The manuscript didn’t need much editing—it followed Chicago style, was punctuated correctly, and the grammar was nearly perfect.
The agent wasn’t asking for much, yet I estimate I returned more than 95 percent of the submissions because they didn’t meet her criteria. The biggest flaws included manuscripts that needed editing or that didn’t fit the agent’s areas of interest.
It became clear to me that writers need to get their manuscripts edited before submitting them to an agent. Writers need to research each agent to learn that agent’s requirements (some want a summary, some want sample pages or chapters, and others may want just a query letter) and submit only to those interested in the book’s genre or category. Writers should ensure their manuscripts to follow standard manuscript format to a T, and if required, include a short, courteous cover letter.
Speaking of cover letters, I just ran across one I saved from days long past. I kept it because I couldn’t believe the nerve of the person who had written it expecting an agent to respond favorably.
First of all, the letter was one and a half pages long. Wrong! A cover letter should be as short and tight as possible and include only the most vital information: a personalized opening that addresses the agent by name, the book title and genre or category, the approximate word count, a short but compelling description of the book, your qualifications as the author, and a courteous closing. You might state that you’re seeking representation and thank the agent for considering your work. Sign your name and include all your contact information.
In addition to the length, what else was wrong with the letter I kept in my files all these years? Everything. After a page and a half of avoiding much of what the agents required, the letter ended with the following, and I’m going to quote:
Your information said to send an outline or a summary. Why should I bore you with an outline or summary? Why should I spoil the story for you? Do I read an outline or summary before reading the novel at the bookstore? No. Only one in one hundred novels are worth reading, in my opinion. But only one in one-thousand (sic) turn out to be real classics and never to be forgotten. What you are about to read is that one-thousandth novel. All I ask is that you read the first three pages of my novel and if you are not satisfied just put it in the SASE and drop it in the mail. But at least read the first three pages. You owe me at least a read of three pages because it is the writers out there who keep the agenting and publishing businesses turning.
You owe me? If you were an agent, how would you respond to someone who said he or she was not going to follow your guidelines but you are still obligated to him or her?
If the writer’s attitude weren’t enough, below the signature in ink he or she had handwritten, “P.S. forgot to mention my novel consists of about 70,000 words.”
Forgot to mention? The word count is one of the main things required in a cover letter. Instead the author had spent one and a half pages insulting the agent and not complying with her wishes and then adding a P.S.
Rejecting that submission was an easy decision.
Today we writers no longer mail our submissions with a self-addressed, stamped envelope (SASE). We submit by email or through online submission platforms, but the guidelines remain the same for cover letters: keep them short, include all the vital information the agent requests, and be professional. Don’t insult a potential agent!
I hope you enjoyed that outrageous cover letter. I’ve kept it all these years as proof that some writers don’t need an agent to reject them; they do the job themselves.